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i miss you so much i love you i just cant believe that you think of me that way am i that kind of person to you y would i want to blow that situation up out of proportion id be stupid if i did that really did hurt me well never be the same again go ahead graduate go ahead go out with her like i care anymore haha but in reality i do i care so very much i miss us i cant believe she did that i cant believe you said that im so confused someone lead me to that place where ill be happy again i miss you so much and i still love you through all of this but itll never be that same never you and i and she and i why dont you both just stab my heart because thats happening right now i bleeding on the inside this wound is not fixable i miss you i never wanted this i went back and read our convo on may 4th and you know what during that time you still thought he was retarded i miss that i miss telling you everything about how i feel about how i feel towards him i miss being able to talk to you now im just sitting here thinking back on what was but never will be again

ive never felt this way before but im not sorry this time...i hate being accused!

i made the most important person in my life hate me today. it was actually just minutes ago. i dont know why all of her advices always get me touchy. maybe its because im just stubborn like that. im tired of being controlled. at the same time im tired of this friendship. theyll be a time where ill miss her soo soo~ much but the next i would just hate her i guess. is it because of him? if it is which it probably is then im really stupid. right? i miss the both of them a lot.how can i face them though. how wouls she feel if she was me. half a year. i played along for MORE than half a year already! has she ever thought about me? she sounded so awesome when she said that she rather not because she didnt want to hurt me. at the time i loved her even more and our friendship got even stronger. they were all lies though. i cant date him because my parents wont let me. whatever! you two are together everyday! i dont need those lies so they can make me feel better. if u like him just tell. if u want to go out with him just tell me. at the same time you can rip my heart out. i trusted you. i opened up somewhat but it was all in vain. i miss you though. i didnt want to hurt you. i just couldnt stand it. you were always there for me and yet at this one time i cant be there for you? sometimes i find myself very selfish. i know you two were meant to be but i dont know. i love you. maybe this is better for all of us. being strangers arent bad i guess. they dont speak at all to each other so theyll be less fights. strangers dont have to think for the other person. most importantly strangers dont love other strangers. maybe with me saying that we dont belong together as friends forever then someday itll come true. i always sent you those flairs saying that were friends forever.i never did send you that one though. "We are bestest friends foreve. I didn't put an 'r' because that's the end of forever." i love you my best friend.

"Show me the meaning of being lonely"...now i finally know that feeling. it hasn't been the same since you left. it was my fault though. i was stupid. i dont think before i talk. all i can do now is cry myself a river. i miss you so much. you were like my sister. now we roam the school like were strangers. i dont want it like this anymore. i miss the 2 most important people in my life. its too late to realize it now! i have no friends, no life, and no one that cares about me. i was blind for not seeing how great of a friend you were. i dont miss you. i dont miss us. i miss how it all was. the 3 of us. we were fine. what happpened. i find myself getting more and more depressed everyday. without you in my life i laughed less and now i just talk less too. i remember our endless convos. our random debates. those were fun. in the end we would just laugh our heads off. what happened that day. what made me break. what made me lose such an awesome friendship. i miss you. my sister. my mentor. most importantly my best friend...now all i can say is goodbye my best friend.

School ended about 2 months ago and I still get him out of my head. Even a simple statement reminds me of him. I COULD'VE, I SHOULD'VE,  WOULD'VE! Someone should stop me before it's too late. Oh wait! It's already too late. One's a best friend and the other's the best guy friend. Both are friends and yet I can't seem to let go of it. Am I at fault? Even if I'm not, I feel like I am. can you just please send me someone else. Someone nicer, cuter, more athletic, smarter, and just better. I can wait...